Office Rules

Rule 1 - The Boss is always right.

Rule 2 - If the Boss is wrong, see Rule 1.

Those who work get more work. Others get pay, perks and promotions.

Ph.D. stands for "Pull Him Down". The more intelligent a person, the more hardworking a person, the more committed a person; the more number of persons are engaged in pulling that person down.

If you are good, you will get all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

When the Bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

It does not matter what you do, it only matters what you say you have done and what you are going to do.

Do not be irreplaceable. If you cannot be replaced, you cannot be promoted.

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

If at first you do not succeed, try again. Then quit. No uses being a damn fool about it.

When you do not know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

Following the rules will not get the job done.

If it were not for the last minute, nothing would get done.

Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous".

No matter how much you do, you never do enough.

You can do any amount of work provided it is not the work you are supposed to be doing.

In order to get a promotion, you need not necessarily know your job.

In order to get a promotion, you only need to pretend that you know your job.

The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.